Woman refuses to do ‘personal favors’ such as dog-walking for male coworker and sets much-needed healthy boundaries, coworker relentlessly persists: ‘I feel cornered’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Nov 9, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Being a woman in male-dominated spaces is hard enough. It's worse when we're in a similar environment at work and are obligated to be around guys who think we owe them anything! Women don't exist to serve men, but the entitlement that some men have is baffling. It's okay to say "no" to anyone, not only men, when you're asked to do something you'd rather not be doing. We are not favor machines, we're strong ladies!

The woman in this story is in the middle of an issue with one of her male coworkers, who constantly asks her for rides, for her to watch his dog, and to fetch him food for lunch. The woman's boyfriend isn't too keen on this coworker, and the woman expresses she's a people pleaser and doesn't want to hurt his feelings. However, she does put her foot down and begins telling him "no," but he continues with strong persistence. The woman is considering going to HR if he doesn't bring his entitlement down a notch.

Advertisement
  • 01
    favor. He would first ask a general question to see if im busy or where im going, then small talk about it then strike. Why is he trying to corner me and make it harder to find an excuse to say no? And
    via Unsplash+ (Susan Wilkinson)
  • 02
    AITA for avoiding a coworker who keeps asking for personal favors?
    via lilikoipond
  • 03
    I (26F) have been working in an office environment for a year. Over the course of this year my coworker Stan (37M) has been asking me for personal favors no mater how many times I refuse. Favors like rides to work, dog
    via lilikoipond
  • 04
    watching, dropping car off at mechanic, house sitting, grabbing lunch, ect. Personally I have a hard time saying no when people ask me for favors. I love helping people and want to be nice. But I also recognize there are people
    via lilikoipond
  • 05
    who will see that in me and use it to their advantage. The favors started small, "oh are you grabbing lunch? Can you pick me up something too ill venmo you?" Or "Do you
    via lilikoipond
  • 06
    next hour? My car is in the mechanic just down the road, can you drop me off real quick itll only take 5 minutes" "Do you have any plans for the weekend? I need to fly out for a work trip could you
    via lilikoipond
  • 07
    watch my dog? Ill pay you heres her schedule its only for a few days and you really only need to take her out 3 times a day" I started noticing that he would set me up for a
    via lilikoipond
  • 08
    favor. He would first ask a general question to see if im busy or where im going, then small talk about it then strike. Why is he trying to corner me and make it harder to find an excuse to say no? And
    via lilikoipond
  • 09
    he's gotten me to do a few favors because of that! A few times ive been so caught off guard that I didn't know how to say no. On one hand i do feel bad for the guy. He's married
    via lilikoipond
  • 10
    but his wife moved to another state an 8hour plane ride away. And he doesn't seem to have much friends. Soon after his wife moved I was looking for a place to rent and he tried to get me to
    via lilikoipond
  • 11
    move in with him. I immediately said "Yeah no that definitely wont work. My boyfriend wouldn't like that." And stan said "well he's more than welcome to come hang out too but i get it". As if a married
    via lilikoipond
  • 12
    dude asking a young woman to live with him isnt weird at all... My boyfriend hates this dude. He knows him through sports outside of work and has warned me
    via lilikoipond
  • 13
    that he's a leach. My boyfriend also got really upset when he found out that i gave Stan a ride once. So now i try to avoid doing any favors for him. But sometimes i will be literally walking out the
    via lilikoipond
  • 14
    door and Stan will say "oh sweet are you getting lunch ill come too!" and start walking with me. Ive never watched Stans dog. But lately hes been pressing hard for me to
    via lilikoipond
  • 15
    watch his dog. Hes asked me 5 times in the last couple months. Hes also making comments to other coworkers all the time when im around about how he wishes someone would watch his
    via lilikoipond
  • 16
    dog and how he really needs to go on work trips. It makes work feel tense and uncomfortable. His desk is right behind mine. I just wish he would leave me alone and never ask me for anything again. I try
    via lilikoipond
  • 17
    to avoid talking to him but its pretty difficult when we work so closely to. I feel cornered. How do i get out of this? I dont want to involve HR and make a big deal out of this but it does bother me. AMA. AITA for avoiding him?
    via lilikoipond
  • 18
    Remote-Physic... . 11h ago NTA -Stan needs to learn about boundaries and how the people that he works with are not his family and so, he doesn't have the right to pressure or insinuate them into doing things for or with him.
    via Remote-Physics6980
  • 19
    Myself, I would simply look him in the eye and say "I believe you misunderstand our relationship. I don't have time to do things for you in my off time, please stop asking" and then offer rover.com. Address him directly and don't give him room to misunderstand. Even better if you do it in front of human resources.
    via Remote-Physics6980
  • 20
    • iwantaponytoo 11h ago He's recognised you as a people pleaser- and for us (yes, I'm one too lol) it's hard to say no- but one of the most liberating things I've learned is knowing that I'm not a bad person for saying no. if he asks what you're doing over the weekend, say "I'm really
    via iwantaponytoo
  • 21
    busy" before he has a chance to ask. If he asks for a lift? "No, i'm really busy". Keep repeating and he'll realise you're no longer an option. If he keeps pushing and asking how you're so busy, say "because you're always asking for favours that I don't want to do". It's the old saying- "give them an inch and they'll take a mile". NTA
    via iwantaponytoo

Tags

terrible coworkers workplace-stories jobs feminist toxic-workplace job work coworkers askreddit reddit story horrible-management entitled people karma not my job workplace boundaries reddit thread red flag job interview interview karen entitled people toxic-work-environment
Scroll Down For The Next Article